 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
Thoughts From the Throne 3/10/06
A man’s life is dictated by codes. Not like Morse or the secret code
to Contra (although very close to that one) but a guy code to live by.
Earlier this week we discussed the guy code to urinals which is
really pretty simple…you can look straight, up and even at your one-
eyed willy but don’t look left or right. When given a choice always
choose the farthest stall from anyone else and always try to be by
the wall. That’s it…not rocket science, just simple code to keep you
from getting your ass kicked.
Guy code does have its complexities. You have to know which
code to use in which situations. If you attempted a butt pat
(acceptable football guy code behavior) at the urinal you’ll probably
end up the victim of a hate crime. Same thing happens if you chest
bump (acceptable basketball code) the guy in the urinal next to you.
Most of this code is simple male nature, the same nature that draws
a man to leave his recliner and walk outside to urinate in the yard.
A true man is driven by instinct…his gut! We are not creatures of
over-analysis, we are creatures of our own entertainment.
Look at our favorite male activities. Why do you think its called
fishing and not catching? I’ve caught few fish in my lifetime but I’ve
always caught a buzz and I’ve always had a good time. I’m awful at
golf but I can drink and drive a golf cart into a tree, hit balls at the
group in front of me and pee in the hole for the group behind me.
Men were never meant to ask “Do I look fat in this?” or gossip “I
hear Bob at the office has a drinking problem and is cheating on his
wife?” It isn’t our purpose! If more of us practiced the Guy Code
then terrorism wouldn’t exist because suicide bombing violates the
Guy Code rule of “do what’s fun now and deal with the
consequences later.”
A man’s life is dictated by codes. Not like Morse or the secret code
to Contra (although very close to that one) but a guy code to live by.
Earlier this week we discussed the guy code to urinals which is
really pretty simple…you can look straight, up and even at your one-
eyed willy but don’t look left or right. When given a choice always
choose the farthest stall from anyone else and always try to be by
the wall. That’s it…not rocket science, just simple code to keep you
from getting your ass kicked.
Guy code does have its complexities. You have to know which
code to use in which situations. If you attempted a butt pat
(acceptable football guy code behavior) at the urinal you’ll probably
end up the victim of a hate crime. Same thing happens if you chest
bump (acceptable basketball code) the guy in the urinal next to you.
Most of this code is simple male nature, the same nature that draws
a man to leave his recliner and walk outside to urinate in the yard.
A true man is driven by instinct…his gut! We are not creatures of
over-analysis, we are creatures of our own entertainment.
Look at our favorite male activities. Why do you think its called
fishing and not catching? I’ve caught few fish in my lifetime but I’ve
always caught a buzz and I’ve always had a good time. I’m awful at
golf but I can drink and drive a golf cart into a tree, hit balls at the
group in front of me and pee in the hole for the group behind me.
Men were never meant to ask “Do I look fat in this?” or gossip “I
hear Bob at the office has a drinking problem and is cheating on his
wife?” It isn’t our purpose! If more of us practiced the Guy Code
then terrorism wouldn’t exist because suicide bombing violates the
Guy Code rule of “do what’s fun now and deal with the
consequences later.”
Thoughts from the Throne 5/4/06
Marriage...a sacred vow, a commitment for life, should be one of a
couples happiest days. Why then are so many weddings so
miserable? As soon as the rock hits the finger someones mother
will step in and begin dictating everything from the reception band
to which strippers are at the bachelor party. Usually this comes to a
boil at the halfway point with a Hatfield and McCoy feud. From this
point till the wedding day it is compromise here, give in there while
muttering under your breath how miserable everything is. The only
ones not making any decisions are the bride and groom. Sad that
two people who are going to experience their happiest day usually
have little say in how it happens and typically just happy to have it
over with.
A friend of mine is getting married. Great guy, great girl! Libby
asked her the other day what color the brides maid dresses were
and she didnt knowher Mom hasnt told her yet! We went to a bar to
check out a band for the reception. Me, Libby, guy, girl and her
Mother and Father. The band consisted of five black guys playing
blues, R&B, funk and even rock covers. The room was packed and
everybody loved this bandexcept for her mom who said they cant
play the reception because they arent playing 40s music.
Nick's wedding almost didnt happen because of the rehearsal. One
Mom (Nicks) drowning out everyone and telling them how it is
supposed to be done and the other Mom muttering continuously
under her breath that this isnt the way they do things where their
from. It was so bad the Priest and the Baptist Preacher took turns
praying for us to get through it.
Here is a novel concept. How about the couple decides how best,
by themselves with no help, to share their vows and commitment to
one another. Instead of a church theyve never been to and a
Priest theyve never met (except for the mandatory marriage
counseling) maybe a wedding where their first date happened or
he proposed? Whats wrong with getting married on a cliff,
overlooking the ocean in Hawaii? That worked for my sister and
shes been happily married over a decade.
I am not saying don't have a traditional wedding or don't have a
Preacher, I'm saying make your own decisions. Do what best fits
you! Do something that has meaning for your relationship! It is
your day, it is not the Mother-in-law feeding you cake (unless shes
hot), it is your wife, so why not do something that symbolizes your
relationship, traits and love.
-30-
Marriage...a sacred vow, a commitment for life, should be one of a
couples happiest days. Why then are so many weddings so
miserable? As soon as the rock hits the finger someones mother
will step in and begin dictating everything from the reception band
to which strippers are at the bachelor party. Usually this comes to a
boil at the halfway point with a Hatfield and McCoy feud. From this
point till the wedding day it is compromise here, give in there while
muttering under your breath how miserable everything is. The only
ones not making any decisions are the bride and groom. Sad that
two people who are going to experience their happiest day usually
have little say in how it happens and typically just happy to have it
over with.
A friend of mine is getting married. Great guy, great girl! Libby
asked her the other day what color the brides maid dresses were
and she didnt knowher Mom hasnt told her yet! We went to a bar to
check out a band for the reception. Me, Libby, guy, girl and her
Mother and Father. The band consisted of five black guys playing
blues, R&B, funk and even rock covers. The room was packed and
everybody loved this bandexcept for her mom who said they cant
play the reception because they arent playing 40s music.
Nick's wedding almost didnt happen because of the rehearsal. One
Mom (Nicks) drowning out everyone and telling them how it is
supposed to be done and the other Mom muttering continuously
under her breath that this isnt the way they do things where their
from. It was so bad the Priest and the Baptist Preacher took turns
praying for us to get through it.
Here is a novel concept. How about the couple decides how best,
by themselves with no help, to share their vows and commitment to
one another. Instead of a church theyve never been to and a
Priest theyve never met (except for the mandatory marriage
counseling) maybe a wedding where their first date happened or
he proposed? Whats wrong with getting married on a cliff,
overlooking the ocean in Hawaii? That worked for my sister and
shes been happily married over a decade.
I am not saying don't have a traditional wedding or don't have a
Preacher, I'm saying make your own decisions. Do what best fits
you! Do something that has meaning for your relationship! It is
your day, it is not the Mother-in-law feeding you cake (unless shes
hot), it is your wife, so why not do something that symbolizes your
relationship, traits and love.
-30-
 |  |  |  |  |